Welcome to Weaning Week. A mini series dedicated to weaning a child from breast milk! If your just now joining us, you can catch up by checking out our first post, Weaning Week: A Look Back!
Weaning your child from the breast can be harder then most people think. My husband really thought it was just a snap of your fingers and our son would be fully weaned. DONE. He, along with most people don’t realize that the weaning process can be extremely uncomfortable physically but is also a very emotional process for the woman.
Breastfeeding is an attachment between mom and baby and when you nurse a child you are constantly with them, day and night. Many women will tell you that when they nurse they feel extremely close with their baby, it gives them a sense of self worth and need. It’s a bonding time that they really have come to enjoy. So when you take something like that away, it’s only normal to get emotional. Just like there are Stages of Mourning, I believe there are Stages of Weaning. And after talking with other first time moms, I’ve realized I’m not the only one who struggled with the weaning process.
The Decision.
The first stage of weaning is the decision. Actually deciding when you are officially going to start the whole process. This stage can go on for a while. I know personally I struggled with this for months. I was constantly going back and forth second guessing myself about my decision. Right off the bat I was struggling mentally trying to find the perfect time. And with all the pressure around us today about breastfeeding it can get stressful. Should I do it now? Should I wait? Should I do it cold turkey? Gradually? Is it going to stress out my baby? Is it going to be painful? Will my baby even take a bottle? I felt like it was an all or nothing decision since once your milk is gone, it’s gone for good. There’s no turning back.
The Guilt.
Once you finally make a decision and start giving your baby more bottles and start to realize that your making less and less milk, the guilt sets in. The guilt set in so bad for my friend Jessi that she started taking mothers milk supplements to get her supply back up because she was doubting herself so much. You start missing that nursing connection that you and your baby had and then find yourself asking Is this really what I want to do? Maybe I could go a couple more months. You may feel like your losing your baby because you realize he’s growing up. Or maybe your child is refusing the bottle and crying for you to nurse him. There’s nothing worse then a screaming baby trying to nurse from you. It can be heartbreaking and make you want to change your mind instantly.
Acceptance.
Once you get over the guilt part and realize that formula isn’t the devil and that your baby is growing up and it is time. You’ll feel a sense of relief. You realize it’s OK that my baby is growing up. It’s OK that he’ll take bottles and feed himself. It just means he’s becoming more independent. Once you find out that the love doesn’t change and you still are as close to your little one as ever; you’ll be ready to complete the process.
The Completion.
You finally take the last few steps to finish up the weaning and you feel good about it. You’ll start looking forward to your milk drying up all the way and wearing your old bras and enjoying your new found freedom that you forgot about. You’ll look back and think WOW, I did do that for a long time, how did I do that? And you’ll almost feel a relief knowing your time is done and your moving on to the next stages of life.
At the end of the day, only you know what is best for your family and only you can make that decision. You’ll totally doubt yourself, you’ll get emotional and you too will go through all or some of these stages. Just keep in mind that it’s a natural process and they can’t be nursing at the age of 13. I mean that’s just gross. It’s got to happen one day but just make sure you surround yourself around others who understand; because it sounds so easy but it’s a lot easier said then done.
When you weaned your child did you find that you went through any of these stages?
Tomorrow we have our first guest blogger. Make sure you come back to check out Erin’s experience on weaning from the pump.
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