Child #2

April 17, 2012 | By More

When are you going to have another baby?

Oh … the infamous 2nd child question.

As Cadens first birthday is approaching I’m finding myself answering that question a little too often. I do recall myself saying “when CK is one I’d like to start trying for his brother or sister” mind you this is when I wanted a Brady bunch family. Now that his birthday is approaching super duper fast I’m so up in the air about that little statement I made months back.

You see, a part of me wants to get the show on the road and make our family and be done with the whole pregnancy, newborn stages. I want to feel like our family is complete and at this point we KNOW we want another baby. And don’t get me wrong I love little babies but as CK gets older I’m enjoying him more and more. I’m realizing I’m not as much as an itty bitty baby person as I thought I was. I love that CK is becoming more independent and well I’m not going to lie I love my sleep. But to feel the affection back from him is amazing. All the hugs and kisses just melts my heart. So of course we want another one and would be thrilled to have another CK running around.

But the other part of me is thinking I don’t know if I’m ready to start the process all over again. Its almost a 2 year commitment where my body isn’t mine and I’m not really the type of person that loves pregnancy. I think it’s an amazing experience and it’s awesome to feel your baby inside you but I don’t LOVE the weight gain, the aches, pains, the hormones, and the constant growing. At this point I’m really enjoying my “time off” from making a baby and feel good about my body again. But at the same time you just never know what is going to happen and it could take us years to have another baby.

I’ll never forget when my sister in law told me “when you can plan a baby it’s the hardest thing in the world.” And she’s so right. I can only imagine what women are going through who are doing IVF when they can plan the actual week or even day. Just trying to plan the month to start trying is making me crazy. It seems that there is never really a “good time” to have a baby. There is always a vacation, party or season that you want to enjoy or avoid before you get pregnant again. I honestly feel like there is a constant battle in my mind. Sounds a little psycho I know, but I’m so back and forth. One day I’ll have baby fever  and then the next I’m like nah I could hold off for a while.

I want to put all the planning aside and “whatever happens happens” but we said that last time and got pregnant a week after our wedding. So …. when someone asks me that question I’m going to say “I have no idea”.

How did or will you decide when you want to try for baby #2?

What do you say when someone asks you when baby #2 is coming?

Category: Parenting

Comments (16)

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  1. I felt like people asked us that question so soon after my daughter was born! I always told them I wanted to wait until she was out of diapers. She’ll be 2 next month and baby #2 is on the way (15 weeks pregnant). I started getting baby fever around the time she was 1, especially since I had a good friend who was pregnant, but she was still nursing a few times a day, so hadn’t even gotten my monthly visitor back! Around the time she was 18 months I couldn’t resist any more. And now I’m kind of glad I’m pregnant at this time because the terrible two’s are kicking in and if I wasn’t already pregnant I might change my mind about having baby #2 any time soon!!

  2. Christie
    Twitter:
    says:

    We kind of went through the same thing. I would always say that we we’re waiting until Riley was 1, Ryan would say that I was making him wait until then (he was ready when Riley was 6 months- crazy man!). When Riley did turn 1 (Nov), I simply wasn’t ready. We just started trying in February when I was ready.
    I am all about the, “it’ll happen when it is supposed to happen”.

    • Susan says:

      OMG 6 months that is just insane, I couldn’t even imagine. Although I do know a couple women who have irish twins .. Yikes!

  3. Emily S
    Twitter:
    says:

    Parker will be 1 May 3…and we’re probably going to start trying again this fall. Mother nature is not on my side (I’ll be 34 this year), so even though I got pregnant with Parker in less than two months, we’re not going to take any chances. Although, I do need to find a job sometime in the next few months, too :)

    • Susan says:

      Good luck on the job search, looks like your going to be a busy little lady come this fall :) I feel like I’m running out of time too. Biological clocks are ticking :)

  4. Tough question! Probably will talk about it once H turns 2. Want to wait with me and we can be preg buddies again?!

  5. Melissa K says:

    No one asks me when we will have another baby because I have been very vocal about my timeframe: we will try again when Landon is 3. I want a big gap between my kids (if we go for a 3rd it will be the same gap), and sometimes I even want to wait longer before I have another. Having a newborn is no joke and like you, I am loving how Landon is more independent now and can do more things. I also like getting more sleep. I worry so much about being able to give Landon the attention he needs/deserves as well as another baby while still finding a little time for myself. Not getting down time when I wanted it in the beginning was one of the hardest adjustments for me and I am not ready to give it up again just yet.

    • Susan says:

      I’m actually opposite of you. I would rather have them be around the same age. But at this point I don’t even know how people take care of two kids. Let alone 3 or 4. I feel like I have no time to myself and how do people actually go places with two lol!

  6. While we haven’t discussed it in depth…in my mind I want to start trying when Kherie is about 18 months, so they would be about 2 1/2 – 3 years apart. Hubby doesn’t even want to talk about it right now, since I think he is still a bit overwhelmed at times with the first haha, I just know I would rather get out of the baby stage sooner rather than later!

    • Susan says:

      I’m with you on getting out of the baby stage sooner then later. I mean I always said I’m done having kids by the time I’m 35 so depending on how many I want my time is ticking :)

  7. krista says:

    Thankfully I never had anyone ask me that after having my daughter, that would annoy me! But I said after her I’d probably like to have a 3-3.5 year age gap. Well, when she was 2 I simply was not ready to do that whole pregnancy/newborn thing again. And enjoying her! So we waited until she was 3, and now have an 3 month old son and 4 year old. I absolutely love the age difference since my daughter is very helpful and independent, but that’s just our preference. :)

  8. Cindi
    Twitter:
    says:

    I go back and forth all the time as well – but pretty sure I’d like to wait to have a baby fall/winter 2013 (if all things go according to plan!) so that I can have all next summer with Molly without worrying about a newborn too. How do you go swimming with 2 babies? ;)

  9. I’m not a mom yet but my sister and I are almost exaclty 2 1/2 years apart. I think this is the perfect age difference. We were always in the same school together and even at camp we were in the same age group. I could always keep an eye on her and it made it easier for my parents going to the same events like school open houses and cheerleading. Good luck with your decision whatever you pick will end up working out..it always does :)

  10. Nicole says:

    Hank is now 18 months and we’ve been trying since January. I wanted another one around the time Hank turned two. But what took us 3 months the first time is now pushing 5 and who knows when it’ll happen. My fear was that it’d take longer than it did the first time and I didn’t want to be 40 having another baby. We are in ourprime when we are able to multi-task and have the energy. Plus, when my kids grow up and move out I want to be young enough to enjoy life with my husband. Vacation, get motorcycles, whatever we want to do. I’m hoping we get pregnant soon because I am def ready for baby #2.

    • Susan says:

      That’s exactly what I’m saying, I mean you never know how long it’s going to take. Well, I’m sending you prego prayers in hopes you get knocked up soon :) Thanks for commenting and have a great weekend!!