It’s so great to have so many comments from people who care. We have had so many people leave kind words and messages on Facebook and through email and we really appreciate that from the bottom of our hearts. It’s a lot easier to cope with a loss when you have a great support system. Even if ours consists of our online family. Lots of people have reached out and gave us their condolences, it’s nice knowing there are such great people in this world. It’s only been 2 days; I feel a little bit better. I woke up today and cried because every morning he would come over to my side and be the first to wake me up. I started my day everyday petting him and him shaking his little or should I say big bum. So that has been hard.
But now that the initial shock is over I’m starting to know he’s not coming back but it still hurts me when I look down to make sure I’m not stepping on him and he’s not there. Zeus follows me where ever I go, especially when we are home. I work from home so literally he’s under my feet, desk or right behind me following me into the next room 24 hours a day. Even if he was in a dead sleep he could sense me not there and would wake up to follow me into the next room. It’s been happening ever since I started working for Nate in his office.
It’s so quiet without him here. We call him the “loudest dog ever” because you can always hear him either walking, snoring, dreaming (he was always making some sort of noise). It got annoying some times but now I miss it. I miss looking down and seeing him dreaming with his little legs running and his lips quivering. I always wondered if he was chasing a squirrel or a rabbit. But honestly he felt most comfortable next to someone and that someone was most of the time me. I found myself last night looking before I stepped down off the couch to not step on him. It’s things I do automatically that make me miss him the most.
It’s going to take a while for me to get use to this new life without him. I’ve been walking Kala to help us get use to it just being us but it makes me sad to not have Zeus by my other side. I did find some videos of him which made me laugh. I’m now starting to get the picture of him dying out of my head and trying to focus on the Zeus I remembered. As much as I try to get the last “screen shots” out of my head it’s hard. Nate said last night he just keeps replaying his last two breaths. Being there when an animal or person takes their last breath is hard, especially seeing them just go limp.
I keep trying to remind myself that if Zeus had to go at that moment it was a perfect moment to go. He wasn’t being boarded, we weren’t traveling, he wasn’t at someone elses house, he was with his family, in his own bed and it happened very quickly. He just got back from a vacation that he loved and enjoyed so much. He got to see all the family and got so much attention from everyone. He played on the beach with some other dogs. That day he passed he got to go on a long walk with his family and enjoyed laying outside in the grass, had a full tummy. So I feel good and don’t regret things like not paying attention to him and stuff. He was always getting attention. In fact, if he felt like he didn’t get enough that day, he would come up and whimper, so I would just give him a hug like a human and he would put his head on my shoulder. After that he would go lay down. I did that literally everyday. He needed hugs just as much as we do. He was a perfect match for our family. So, as much as I miss him and love him I’m thankful the way he left us.
I found some videos of the Zeus we all remember and love and will be posting them soon. I hope you guys will check it out.
Thanks for all the love – we appreciate it more than you know.