I still struggle …

June 14, 2012 | By More

After a whole year of being a new mom you would think I would finally have my sh%& together. I don’t and I’ll be the first one to admit it. These last 12 months Ive been learning how to live like a parent, care for a little guy and find a system that works for our household and although I have figured out a lot, I still struggle with a few important issues.

I still struggle with cooking. Nate took over a lot of the cooking especially when CK was really little. I was all focused on him, feeding him, holding him etc so Nate would come home and cook dinner. The problem is, he still does. Don’t get me wrong Nate loves to cook, and in fact he probably won’t want to give up all the nights he cooks but now that Caden is older and I’m the stay at home mom; there is no reason I can’t cook at least 3 times a week for my family.

I still struggle with taking a break. Being around CK 24/7 is a blessing but being around anyone that long; you deserve a break and I know that. I had good intentions of finding a sitter. And actually found a couple but haven’t been consistent on the whole babysitter coming every week thing.

I still struggle getting back to church. Nate and I went to church every Sunday while I was pregnant and when CK was small enough to take him into the service with us. We tried dropping him off in the church nursery once and he was hysterical and we never tried again; more so because his sleep and nap schedule didn’t really go well with the service times. Either  way this is something we need to start doing again.

I still struggle with exercising. I’ve been trying to go to the gym every Tuesday and Thursday nights for Pilates while Nate stays home with CK but I’ve been slacking. It’s so incredibly hard for me to get motivated when I know down the road I’m (hopefully) going to gain another 40lbs. with another pregnancy. It’s been so hard to get over this mind set of “what’s the point of working my ass off and get really toned to be back in the same spot”. Not to mention the gym day care hours haven’t worked out with Caden’s nap and sleep schedule so day time trips to the gym haven’t been an option. Excuses? maybe.

And lastly ..

I still struggle trying to put our relationship first. If you’ve been a reader for a while you may remember reading a post I did, Remembering who came first. If you haven’t check it out you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. But I am still struggling with putting Nate and I first before Caden.

Now that’ I’ve put these out there; all I have to do is find a solution!

I hope I’m not alone on this …

What do you still struggle with after having children?

Category: Parenting

Comments (16)

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  1. Follow Up on “I Still Struggle” | June 20, 2012
  1. Hallie
    Twitter:
    says:

    I am totally with you on this. M is 7 months old and I thought I would have it all figured out by now! ha! Naive of me. But we are getting there, one day at a time.

  2. Cindi
    Twitter:
    says:

    Definitely struggle with taking more breaks. I really have wanted & needed one lately too. Let’s have a GNO & meet in Charlotte some night – leave the babies with our men! And obviously I struggle with exercise. :)

  3. Christie
    Twitter:
    says:

    I really hope you don’t feel alone or like you’re odd, because this is all totally normal!!!
    I am right there with you on a few, particularly taking a break (our Mommy & Me get togethers are practically the only time I get out around other girlfriends!) and getting back to church. Riley was great in church as a baby, but ever since she began walking, well running, it’s a whole other story.
    I would love to join in on a GNO if that is cool! Could you just imagine- a dinner with girlfriends and not having to talk over children crying, walking off, being fed, etc, etc, etc?!

    • Susan says:

      Yes! You’ll have to definitely join us on GNO! I’m hoping we can plan something in the next week or so. I’ll include you on the Facebook event. Oh it’s going to be so nice not having someone hanging on us :)

  4. Jenny
    Twitter:
    says:

    Great post Sus! I think so many SAHM’s are with you. Myself included. It’s hard finding a balance and I’m sure it will come in time but I am right there with you and I too would LOVE a GNO. As you know our Hubby’s get to do that much more than we do ;-) . We should make it happen!

  5. Niki says:

    I think ALL mom’s have stuggles… Mine are that I don’t ever let my kid go see his grandparents overnight when they ask. I feel I’m inconveniencing them. Even though I’m not with Hank all the time (he goes to either daycare or a sitter during the day since I work), I still need to have some alone time with my husband. Which we don’t do. I’ve found that we live off a schedule in my house since we have so much going on, in the morning before we leave and when we get home. That has been our saving grace. But at the same time we have created a child that is alittle less forgiving when we have a change of plans.

    Stay strong, you will figure out what works for you.. And you have to think, there are some things (like the cooking) that just might be a change. Maybe it’s Nate’s turn to cook while the kids are little. Life has many chapters, before you know it you’ll be flipping the page to a new chapter and something else will change. No reason to struggle, maybe they are just things to except now. When the next chapter comes, maybe they will change again. :)

  6. Melissa K says:

    With the exception of exercising (I’ve got that down finally) I could have written this post myself! Church especially has been hard now that L has to go in the nursery. He doesn’t cry in there, but I hate leaving him and pretty much every time I pop in there to check on him the workers have him in an exersaucer. That was OK when he was 6 months old, but he’s 12.5 months now. When we go this weekend (for the first time in months) I am telling them not to put him in there at all. There’s usually 2-3 kids in the nursery and 2-3 workers, my son doesn’t need to be contained like that. I think he’s way too old to be in one of those and he doesn’t like them anymore. He wants to crawl and cruise around the room. We haven’t gone to church since Easter and we tend to make an appearance every couple of months. L still isn’t baptized, it’s so bad.

    • Susan says:

      Oh my gosh I completely agree. I would be really upset if I saw Caden in something like that now. Don’t feel bad Caden isn’t baptized yet either, our church doesn’t even baptize kids until they are old enough to understand. I’m still up in the air about getting him baptized before hand but I keep putting it off. Well, I’m glad I’m not the only one, let me know how he does when you go back!

  7. Elizabeth says:

    I feel you. I’ve been trying to create a “balance” and it’s hard. I have a husband who like yours helps out but it’s still tough. I do a menu plan and look up recipes to at least guide me through the week and we just went back to church this past weekend. I can only imagine it gets harder with more kids

  8. Hey Susan, I can very much relate with you, struggling to do this and that, struggling to make a balance. But the positive thing is we always take challenges and face them with enthusiasm.

  9. Thanks for your honesty…I know I struggle with feeling like I am doing a million things half well and nothing 100%. I know this isn’t true, but there are days when it gets to be 6 p.m. and my hubby gets home and I honestly can’t figure out if I accomplished anything that day. But then I remind myself that my most important job is raising our sweet girl and making sure she is happy, so if the house is falling apart around me that is OK :) !