Remembering Who Came First

November 8, 2011 | By More

We just remember that we were here first.

Heidi Klum and Seal said this years ago in an interview about why their marriage has lasted so long. This has stuck with me ever since. Before I got married or even engaged I had always told myself that I wanted to put Nate and I before our kids. I think it’s important that the foundation of your family stays strong.


Fast Forward .>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> marriage, baby >>> (screech)

As you can tell by my blog I am head over heels in love with our baby. Quite possibly a little obsessed. So putting Nate and I first hasn’t happened the way I had planned. Caden is the main focus right now. No matter how hard I try, he IS the center of our universe.


Yesterday morning it was the usual butt dragging out of my bed into Caden’s room to feed him. Except this time I wasn’t as rested. We’ve been battling the sleep bug. Ugh. Once finished I took him in our room where his swing was and decided to put him in it, in hopes that we could get a couple more hours of sleep. It’s was still dark out due to the time change and as I’m laying my head back down on my comfy pillow (Nate is already up and headed to the gym) I hear this crinkle sound. … what in the … ?

It’s a card with Mrs. Kennedy on it.


I’m thinking what is this for …

As I open it up and start reading it, I can’t help but cry. It was a card from my hubby telling me how great and wonderful I am as a wife and mom and how much he loves me. It was the sweetest thing that my husband could ever have done. It brought me back to the days where it was just him and I. The first 4 years when we traveled, went out to awesome dinners, had date nights all the time, went on little adventures and didn’t have a care in the world.

ice bar 5

I definitely miss those days sometimes.

As I lay back down I start thinking and realizing how important it is to do little things for your spouse. When a baby comes into this world you get all caught up with all the changes and attention that the baby needs. It’s very easy to lose the focus on you and your spouse. Nate and I aren’t able to spend the time together like before, and it’s a sacrifice that we chose. And honestly Caden is the best thing that’s happened to us but …

It’s important to remember Who came First.

I know it’s hard, especially us moms because we get all caught up in our babies and it’s hard to see anything past that. Especially if you have a baby hanging on you all day, throwing up on you or worse a baby that cries all the time … the last thing you may want to do is have another person touching you. (I know sometimes when Nate gets home from work all I want to do is have 20 minutes to myself to get a nice hot shower in, no talking, no distractions, no spit up, no dirty diapers and no crying. Just peace and quiet. I know you other moms can relate). But it’s important to remember where it all started.

It’s important to remind each other that the love is still there. It’s important to do the little things like a simple card, saying I love you, cuddling on the couch, holding hands or having date night. I believe this is what will hold you together and remind you that even through all the chaos, hell the chaos you created is because of the love that you two have.

So maybe it’s selfish, maybe it’s not … But We were here first.

Do you think it’s selfish to put your relationship before your baby?


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Category: Parenting

Comments (13)

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  1. laurie
    Twitter: Laurietomlinson

    Everything I’ve read says that the first and foremost important thing to care for your baby is a stable, loving relationship between his/her parents! So, no, it’s not selfish at all. Thanks for the reminder :)

  2. Cindi
    Twitter: scubacindi

    I love that he gave you that card – that is so sweet and thoughtful. Made me cry! I definitely agree with this – while it’s REALLY hard to do that right now. Everynight I try to give my hubby a back tickle (his favorite!), or we just sit on the porch and enjoy a beer. Because when it’s all said and done – the kids will grow up and do their own thing – but it will always be us.

  3. Brittany (A Healthy Slice of Life)
    Twitter: Ahealthyslice

    I totally got chills reading this. I completely agree. Even though Hailey is the center of our world and our love for her is inexplicable, it’s so important to remember that David and I are the heart of our family. Like my dad always says, the best thing you can do for your kids is to love their mother.
    What a great post!!

  4. Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength
    Twitter: amandamaryperry

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this post. It’s so true and so important. Thank you for a much needed reminder. :) We were really good at date nights at first, but we have been seriously slacking. (And no…it’s not selfish.)

  5. Jenny
    Twitter: JennyBrewton

    Definitely not selfish and so true!!! It’s super important to make sure you put yourself and your spouse first. But true as well that it is sometimes so hard to do with such an amazing little person that demands so much of our attention!!

  6. Jessica says:

    What a great post! Thank you so much for sharing. I sat and thought to myself after reading this… so much I had forgotten. It’s really hard sometimes to devote all of your attention to your husband, your child and yourself. Very inspiring, thank you again!

  7. Jen says:

    I totally agree with you! And, it does affect baby, because happy parents = happy baby.

  8. Before our first child was born, my FIL sat my husband down and told him, the best example you can be to your children is to love your wife. We have been married for 10 years and parents for 9 of those years, but I like to think we have a pretty strong relationship and it’s because we do the little things for each other :)

  9. Elizabeth says:

    Love this post…so true, my husband and I have always said the same. I feel you on missing travel and a romantic dinner but like you said, that’s the sacrifice for a precious baby :)

  10. Jessica B says:

    I totally needed this reminder. Thank you!